The Astronaut Song
by Sailor Ghost
Summary: A song parody of monty Python's "Lumberjack Song" starring none other than the ultra-kawaii Kaoru Misaki from Moldiver!! Oh, yeah, I don't own anything portrayed here, unfortunately. R&R pleeze!!


The Astronaut Song

**The Astronaut Song**

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**::We cut to Kaoru Misaki and Hiroshi Oozoru on a lunch break from work. Seeing as it's a business lunch...they're forced to talk business. Rough life, ne?::**

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**Hiroshi:** (_choking down a sammich_)...So, I was thinkin' that if we updraded the Z23.50 to 300 megahurtz we could...

**Kaoru:** (_looking kind of lost in his own world_) Uh-huh...

**Hiroshi:** And if we also graduated to...dude, are you OK? 

**Kaoru:** (_looks up_) Er...uhmmm...Actually, I'm not OK. I'M SICK OF THIS [expletive] JOB!!!

**Hiroshi:** Nani?! 

**Kaoru:** I never asked to be a Computer Technition!! (_cue generic anime tear streams_)

**Hiroshi:** What are you talking about?!?

**::All of a sudden, the cafe backdrop changes to a cheaply painted universe looking like it was done by a five-year old raised by wild pygmy goats. Hiroshi is understandably stunned by all this::**

**Hiroshi:** What the...?!? 

**Kaoru:** (_standing up on the table_) I don't want to blither on all day about Intel chips or parameters or the information superhighway! I always wanted to be....(_whips off lab coat, to the disappointment of the bishie lovers of the world, he's wearing a large, bulky, white space suit_) .....AN ASTRONAUT!!!! (_cue music to begin_) Drifting from star to star as they use up all their hydrogen and burn out in vast infinate void of the Milky Way!! The red giant! The quarks! The Mir! THE BIG BANG! The eternally pulsating pulsars! The funky little space debris! The lightening-fast asteroids of the Oort Cloud! The towering facial illusion on Mars! The melting ice caps on Europa! The possibility of extraterrestrial bacteria! The burning feeling of entering Earth's atmosphere! Mercury, Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune and Venus! With my kawaii little Mirai-chan by my side!

**Mirai:** MIIIIIIIIIIIIISAKIIIIIIIII-SEMPAIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! AAAAIIIIIISHIIIIITEEERUUUU!!!!!! (_glomps Kaoru and latches on with the strength of a few dozen parrots that haven't ceased to be_)

**Kaoru:** (_with his arm around Mirai-chan_)I just wanna sing! Sing! SING!! (_sings_) I'm an astronaut and I'm OK! I keep interplanetary beings at bay! 

**Dr. Machinegal's Dolls:** (_appear from nowhere dressed like the crew of Star Trek_) He's an astronaut and he's OK! He keeps interplanetary beings at bay! 

**Kaoru:** I float and drift! I drink some Tang! I replace the anti-freeeze!! On Venus I get poisoned and stink up the lava'try!!

**Dr. Machinegal's Dolls:** He floats and drifts! He drinks some Tang! He replaces the anti-freeeze!! On Venus he gets poisoned and stinks up the lava'try!!

**Kaoru/chorus:** Oh, I'M AN ASTRONAUT AND I'M OK!!! I KEEP INTERPLANETARY BEINGS AT BAY!!! 

**Kaoru:** I record G's! I bust some heads! I like to beat alien beeeiiings! I hijack Mirai's clothing and use it as a towel!

**Dr. Machinegal's Dolls:** He records G's! He busts some heads! He likes to beat alien beeeiiings! He hijacks Mirai's clothing.....?? And uses it as....a...towel....???

**Kaoru/chorus:** I'M AN ASTRONAUT AND I'M OK!!! I KEEP INTERPLANETARY BEINGS AT BAY!!

**Kaoru:** I record G's! I clean up with her shirt, bandanna, and her braaaaaa!!! I'm obsessed with that girlie, and think of nothing but her at allllllll!! 

**Dr Machinegal's Dolls:** He records G's! he cleans up with her shirt....bandanna....and....BRA?!? He's obsessed with...that girlie? And thinks….of...nothing but her.......at all?!?!?! (_walk out in disgust_)

**Mirai:** (_tears in her eyes_) I didn't think you were such a hentai, Misaki-sempai! 

**Kaoru:** (_shrugs_) Well, it's lonely in space! 

**Mirai:** And I thought you were such a gentleman!! (_runs off crying_)

**Kaoru:** Mira-chani!! Oh, some on it was just a song! I was just joking!! Mirai-chan! MATTE!! (_sigh_) That's it, minna. Show's over...go home. 

**Dr. Machinegal:** (_walks out wearing a tux and carrying a cane_) OH! HE'S AN ASTRONAUT AND HE'S OK!!! Cha cha chaaaa!!! He keeps interplanetary beings at bay!! EVERYBODY!!

**Everybody but Hiroshi, who's still in shock:** OH HE'S AN ASTRONAUT AND HE'S OK!!! HE KEEPS INTERPLANETARY BEINGS AT BAY!!! HE'S AN ASTRONAUT AND HE'S OK!!!! HE KEEPS INTERPLANETRAY BEINGS AT BAY!!!

**Dr. Machinegal:** Cha Cha Cha!!!! (_slips and falls_) Ow! My hip! 

**Hiroshi:** (_sighs and covers the camera up with his hand_)

**fin**


End file.
